


or would it be a waste, even if i knew my place. should i leave it there?

by politeia



Series: Sasusaku Alter-Reality [2012-2015] [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Canon RTN Non-massacre AU, F/M, pinning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26876161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/politeia/pseuds/politeia
Summary: Sasuke and RTN!Sasuke as twins battling for Sakura’s love
Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke
Series: Sasusaku Alter-Reality [2012-2015] [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1766242
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	or would it be a waste, even if i knew my place. should i leave it there?

He knew she would come.

He knew ever since he heard from Naruto.

But now that she’s walking toward him, her every step suffused with purpose, he can’t help but feel his knees go weak. So he covers it up with bravado, hopes that he can survive through this and not make a fool of himself.

He may act silly. But he still has his pride. He’s an Uchiha too, after all.

“You’re either here to beg on your knees for me to hold you and save you from the clutches of my evil, _boring_ brother or–”

She shoots him a baleful look before shaking her head and smiling indulgently at him, as one would with a small child.

Part of him loves her for that serene smile she’s sporting; but part of him resents her for it. She always treats him like a child, never takes him seriously. What would it take, really, for her to realize that his feelings are just as true as his brother’s?

“– or you’re here to do what any decent lady would and reject me in person. Though, I warn you Sakura-chan, it’s not gonna hurt any less.”

When her smile morphs into an apologetic pout, he sighs and raises his hands in mock surrender.

“Right. Rejection it is.”

He tries to come up with one of his usual witty jokes that make light of any situation. But strangely enough, _he can’t_.

“I’m sorry.”

His head is blank, his mouth dry, his hands trembling, and his heart–

“No.” His voice comes out in a strangled whisper, utterly uncharacteristic of him. “No, don’t. Don’t be.”

“I’m really very sorry. You’re a great person and I’m sure–”

 _Don’t patronize me,_ he wants to tell her. But she looks so fragile and soft and _Sakura_ that–

“You don’t have to be sorry, Sakura-chan. You chose the right twin. Sasuke - he’s a good man.”

“Yeah, he is. And for what it’s worth– I really do love him. ”

“I know.”

She smiles again; a sweet, loving smile that makes him burn with envy, makes him feel like he’s standing in the living room again, being berated by his father, being made to feel like he’s _second best_ and _never good enough_ and _not at all like his twin brother._

He had answered that he was his own man, that he was an individual, that he didn’t want to be the ‘clan puppet’ that his brother was.

But that was a lie.

_(I want to be like him, dad. In fact, right now, more than anything in the world, I want to be him.)_

He wants to hate Sasuke sometimes - but he always knew he couldn’t. He treats his twin with blatant disrespect, always trying to embarrass him, always hitting on his girlfriend, always calling him names, calling him a cold fish, a boring old coot – a _puppet,_ Sasuke hated being called that the most.

But in reality, he has nothing but the deepest respect for Sasuke.

Sasuke is the serious one, the responsible one. He has a brutal, ruthless, tunnel-visioned streak about him that makes him achieve whatever it was that he wants to achieve. He’s an Uchiha - perhaps the truest one yet. Never breaking under pressure and always moving forward, his eye perpetually trained on his goals.

If any clan members had any doubts about his ability to be the Head (conditioned as they were to think Itachi - as the eldest - would be) then they certainly harbored none now.

Sasuke made sure of that.

Itachi was the smartest, the kindest - but he ran off to enter the peace corps, abandoning his baby brothers to the mercy of their autocratic father. For the clan, Itachi had been a paragon of righteousness up until that single moment of impulsiveness.

But his own opinion of the incident had always been different. He knew his big brother wasn’t being impulsive. Itachi knew exactly what he wanted in life - and what he wanted was something more than just running a company like a well-oiled cog and turning one dollar into two.

He understood his older brother perfectly. He didn’t want the burden of being the heir either. He and Sasuke were always painfully aware of how much pressure the clan put on Itachi. They pitied their belovedaniki, actually, but they were also secretly relieved that they weren’t the ones who had to suffer, that they both had the time to run around and have fun with Naruto, Shikamaru, and Chouji.

Not many people still remembered, but he and Sasuke were actually inseparable when they were young. Sure, Sasuke had to be coaxed out of his shell sometimes, and was always the first one to give in and apologize to the grownups, and was always the one who turned down offers to play just so he could study and be like their big brother a bit more. But mostly, they were two peas in the same pod. They loved playing around in the mud together, loved doing pranks on the villagers, loved being twins.

But then Itachi ran away.

And Sasuke was chosen by their father to be the new heir.

He lost his twin too, then.

Not many people know, but Sasuke is actually the youngest. Ten minutes younger, to be exact. It’s a secret that only Fugaku, Mikoto, and himself know. And it was entirely an accident that he found out.

His parents had been having an argument, and he had eavesdropped.

That was when he found out about his birthright.

That was also when he found out what his father thought of him.

That was the fulcrum.

“Hey, are you okay? I’m not used to seeing you all serious and broody - that’s Sasuke’s role!”

Sakura’s voice snaps him out of his introspection, reminding him brutally of his defeat.

“Hm… yeah. yeah… I will be… Okay, that is.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll be okay”, he repeats, more for his benefit than hers. He never has been too good at convincing himself. “Anyway, you don’t have to worry, Sakura-chan. I’ve known for a long while that it would be like this.”

 _(Though it has never stopped me from hoping_ )

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ve known since I stole his clothes one day and strolled around the village.”

She scoffs, her expression almost comical, “You did more than just 'stroll around the village’. I remember that day so clearly. You went to the town square and mooned _everyone_.”

“Yes, well, Sasuke beat me up for that”, he smiles sheepishly, “and everyone saw through the prank as soon as they recovered from the initial shock of seeing the stuck-up Sasuke expose his tush anyway.”

“It was really funny though.”

Sakura giggles, her voice sounding like tinkling bells. She really does look so soft. He thinks that it’s a wonder that this pastel shell holds such a strong, intelligent woman.

She’s lucky that she’s the mayor’s daughter and Dr. Tsunade’s apprentice. Otherwise, Fugaku wouldn’t have given her the time of day. Not that Sasuke would follow his father then. He knows that Sasuke would stand up against the clan if it means keeping Sakura. Nobody has quite affected his brother more than her. Sasuke, on a rare moment of sentimentality (and inebriation), had referred to her as _his anchor_.

Besides, nobody but a woman like her could handle a man like Sasuke.

Sasuke needed her.

She was his 'rest’, the only one who could comfort him, wind him down after his hectic days of being clan head. She was the one who could make him forget his responsibilities for a while and remind him of how beautiful the world is. And she was also the one who would never hamper his goals, and instead help him reach them.

She really would make a great matriarch of the Uchiha Clan.

 _(And she could have been mine -_ should _have been mine.)_

He didn’t know when his feelings for Sakura began to change into something genuine. Perhaps it was just a product of repetition. It had started out as a petty and mean act of revenge. Sakura was his brother’s number one fan - the only girl, in fact, who preferred to follow the boring twin instead of the lively, vivacious one who kept handing out roses. Sasuke seemed to ignore her for the most part, as he was extremely busy with clan duties. But Sasuke also kept her close, in his own aloof way.

He saw that. It was clear as day. Sasuke cared for her.

And so he decided that he would take Sakura away from Sasuke, just as his brother took his birthright away - a fair exchange. Never mind that his younger twin had no idea he was doing so. Never mind that he didn’t really want the responsibility either in the first place. Being Head is no walk in the park, after all, and he likes his little comforts and his lackadaisical lifestyle too much to give it up. He should be thankful that Sasuke bears the responsibility without complaint, really. But still-

He just wanted to take her away from his brother. To steal as he had been stolen from.

But Sakura never allowed that, despite his greatest efforts at wooing her.

Then somehow, it stopped being about stealing her away. It was just about having her. She was steadfast, loyal, _perfect_.

He saw what Sasuke saw.

Be he can’t have what Sasuke has of her, what Sasuke is determined to protect.

“Yes, well, on that day where I stole his identity, I saw you. You waved at me, and you were just… I dunno… different. I think I’ve known since then.”

That was the time he knew it. _This_.

It’s real.

“I– I really am sorry.”

“Well, I’ll forgive you if you accept this.”

He takes the rose he cut from his mother’s garden and hands it to her, the flower helping to restore his usual confidence. But she doesn’t take it, just as she has never taken the other ones.

“You, always the joker.”

“Oh I’m not joking, Sakura-chan, I haven’t been joking with you for a long time. And I think you know that. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here telling me about your engagement in person and apologizing to me. You wouldn’t have bothered. So accept it, please. This one will be the last.”

They stare at each other for a while as she accepts his gift, understanding passing between them - an unspoken acknowledgement of each other and a banishment of all the what if’s and what could’ve beens.

He thinks she looks beautiful like that, a rose clutched in her hand and a soft smile gracing her lips.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Sakura.”

**Fin.**

**Author's Note:**

> posted at sasusaku-alterreality last September 30, 2012 [[HERE](https://sasusakualter-reality.tumblr.com/post/32598904798)]


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